Frugality. We view this as such a virtue. But frugality with minutes, with time given, is such an ugly frugality indeed; a wasteland, a desert, an empty well promising much and delivering little. Like all hoarding, it is not rewarded.
Only when we open our purse and let money flow does more come. Stagnation via hoarding stops the supply.
Only when we give of ourselves by giving the time of our very lives, the stuff our life is measured by, is more given in more meaningful ways. Measuring life in the miserly frugality of time is to be destitute in the rich quality of all that time holds. For time freely given holds a depth and a return reward attainable to those who understand this.
The impact on those on the other side of the “exchange” of this frugality? Marginalization… Patronizing…not listening to what is being said but thinking of what is next either mentally in response or in the agenda; already seeking to get this time over with to move into that time. In the day of the iPhone head-tilt, where time is diluted and distracted by so much informational competition we can’t possibly take it all in in the stream of fast-flowing info-bytes, shared time becomes a scarce commodity as it’s given over to virtual-World time. Eye contact is more precious than we imagined. Thoughtful listening before the answer is formed a prize to attain to. Instead, ready to launch like a rocket upon command at the first pause or usually, interrupting, these mark communications and create a loss in communion.
Despite many talking about living in the now, “there is only this moment,” this is the essence of not living in the now but thinking future always. The practice of mindfulness teaches us this. Watch your thoughts for just a few minutes and you will see; many people are not inhabiting the present moment because we are already planning where we are heading next. And those on the other side of the divide of frugal-time-begrudgingly-given are actually being victimized at a profoundly core level and are much aware of the destructiveness of these types of miserly interactions. Whether distraction or patronizing and fulfilling a “duty” prevail in these communications that lack communion, there is a stringy quality, very thin and threadbare, that leave these interactions which should hold richness, meaning, and deep connection bereft, heartless, void or at minimum, a thin veneer over what could have been, should have been….those damned unspoken heart-longings and expectations unmet.
To stand across the great divide of wanting more time and the same being doled out with the frugality of a rice-gruel in war time is to be aware of the value of time given. It is to be cherished if and when we find the exchange with our God, ourselves, and others. Of all the focus of our life, time holds the most value by far and the energy we bring to this time allotted whether to our God, our selves, or to others is the most nurturing and soul-satisfying.
For some, time is the medium that equates most with love and true compassion, concern, caring, and interest. For some it is gifts. Gary Chapman’s 1995 book, The Five Love Languages, reveals the basic languages of love- of feeling loved- and for each of us it may be different in how we wish to receive love-energy and how we must learn to give it in the right “language” so the other can “hear” and “feel” it. Touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, time….maybe we even relate to several of these when we feel loved. For me, it is time and words. Love me in any other way and it is wonderful but not transformational, magical, and supremely satisfying as quality time- not duration- and word-gifts are to me.
To interpret love as “time” and to face a frugality of this highest need, to endure the diminishment of it in one’s expectations and then in one’s actual experience and more so compounded as time passes, is to live inside of a cave when a mansion is nearby and vacant. Soon we learn that humans will let us down and the only way we can really experience true love is from our Father, our God who is never lacking in any of the ways of showing love. In the final analysis, we are all alone with our Creator so the sooner this deeply loving relationship is embarked upon and nurtured, the better. That way we are not looking outside of ourselves for the basic needs of being human, but within.
It is really about faith and trust. I can't tell you how many very ancient people are still saying, "I don't have time to...." and usually it hinges back on needing to do tasks. Tasks and errands and the endless to do list make for a sparse life.
Industry, Ben Franklin-style (who was a mentor of mine in my 20s) and the American work ethic (well, what is left of it before we became a welfare nation/nanny state) must be balanced with investments in our God, in others, and in ourselves or what is life for but to work hard so another can reap the fruit of all our labor (whilst neglecting everyone, even ourselves...) when we die. These things all take time.
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Frugality of time leads to not carving out a place in others' hearts. We live on there, you know, in many hearts hopefully. A false time-thrift, while we take care of endless business or waste time in senseless activities, leads to oblivion and not being remembered. But most of all frugality of time means that everyone was shortchanged in the present and into the future when they reflect back on us when we are gone (even while we are yet living in many cases).
We must have faith and trust that when we feel overwhelmed and pressed and burdened with too much for any one human to possibly do (and I have three jobs, and little help, so I know what I speak of) that our schedule will flow with a supernatural ease and that as we give time to people and concerns and causes outside the narrow scope of our lives that more time will come rushing back to us, or the maximizing of such time, to fill the void we have created. Emptying...always emptying and pouring out so that we might have more. Recognizing we have failed and desiring to change is the first step. Leaving this new demand and burden when we feel overwhelmed already at the feet of the Master is the next step. Then be ready to participate in a new Grand Adventure, rich with moments and memories.
This mastery of time, of time management and time invested, may take a lifetime like any virtue worth acquiring. As Michelangelo patiently and wisely said, “I am still learning.”
(c) 2015 Katherine A. Carroll, All Rights Reserved
Only when we open our purse and let money flow does more come. Stagnation via hoarding stops the supply.
Only when we give of ourselves by giving the time of our very lives, the stuff our life is measured by, is more given in more meaningful ways. Measuring life in the miserly frugality of time is to be destitute in the rich quality of all that time holds. For time freely given holds a depth and a return reward attainable to those who understand this.
The impact on those on the other side of the “exchange” of this frugality? Marginalization… Patronizing…not listening to what is being said but thinking of what is next either mentally in response or in the agenda; already seeking to get this time over with to move into that time. In the day of the iPhone head-tilt, where time is diluted and distracted by so much informational competition we can’t possibly take it all in in the stream of fast-flowing info-bytes, shared time becomes a scarce commodity as it’s given over to virtual-World time. Eye contact is more precious than we imagined. Thoughtful listening before the answer is formed a prize to attain to. Instead, ready to launch like a rocket upon command at the first pause or usually, interrupting, these mark communications and create a loss in communion.
Despite many talking about living in the now, “there is only this moment,” this is the essence of not living in the now but thinking future always. The practice of mindfulness teaches us this. Watch your thoughts for just a few minutes and you will see; many people are not inhabiting the present moment because we are already planning where we are heading next. And those on the other side of the divide of frugal-time-begrudgingly-given are actually being victimized at a profoundly core level and are much aware of the destructiveness of these types of miserly interactions. Whether distraction or patronizing and fulfilling a “duty” prevail in these communications that lack communion, there is a stringy quality, very thin and threadbare, that leave these interactions which should hold richness, meaning, and deep connection bereft, heartless, void or at minimum, a thin veneer over what could have been, should have been….those damned unspoken heart-longings and expectations unmet.
To stand across the great divide of wanting more time and the same being doled out with the frugality of a rice-gruel in war time is to be aware of the value of time given. It is to be cherished if and when we find the exchange with our God, ourselves, and others. Of all the focus of our life, time holds the most value by far and the energy we bring to this time allotted whether to our God, our selves, or to others is the most nurturing and soul-satisfying.
For some, time is the medium that equates most with love and true compassion, concern, caring, and interest. For some it is gifts. Gary Chapman’s 1995 book, The Five Love Languages, reveals the basic languages of love- of feeling loved- and for each of us it may be different in how we wish to receive love-energy and how we must learn to give it in the right “language” so the other can “hear” and “feel” it. Touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, time….maybe we even relate to several of these when we feel loved. For me, it is time and words. Love me in any other way and it is wonderful but not transformational, magical, and supremely satisfying as quality time- not duration- and word-gifts are to me.
To interpret love as “time” and to face a frugality of this highest need, to endure the diminishment of it in one’s expectations and then in one’s actual experience and more so compounded as time passes, is to live inside of a cave when a mansion is nearby and vacant. Soon we learn that humans will let us down and the only way we can really experience true love is from our Father, our God who is never lacking in any of the ways of showing love. In the final analysis, we are all alone with our Creator so the sooner this deeply loving relationship is embarked upon and nurtured, the better. That way we are not looking outside of ourselves for the basic needs of being human, but within.
It is really about faith and trust. I can't tell you how many very ancient people are still saying, "I don't have time to...." and usually it hinges back on needing to do tasks. Tasks and errands and the endless to do list make for a sparse life.
Industry, Ben Franklin-style (who was a mentor of mine in my 20s) and the American work ethic (well, what is left of it before we became a welfare nation/nanny state) must be balanced with investments in our God, in others, and in ourselves or what is life for but to work hard so another can reap the fruit of all our labor (whilst neglecting everyone, even ourselves...) when we die. These things all take time.
Frugality of time leads to not carving out a place in others' hearts. We live on there, you know, in many hearts hopefully. A false time-thrift, while we take care of endless business or waste time in senseless activities, leads to oblivion and not being remembered. But most of all frugality of time means that everyone was shortchanged in the present and into the future when they reflect back on us when we are gone (even while we are yet living in many cases).
We must have faith and trust that when we feel overwhelmed and pressed and burdened with too much for any one human to possibly do (and I have three jobs, and little help, so I know what I speak of) that our schedule will flow with a supernatural ease and that as we give time to people and concerns and causes outside the narrow scope of our lives that more time will come rushing back to us, or the maximizing of such time, to fill the void we have created. Emptying...always emptying and pouring out so that we might have more. Recognizing we have failed and desiring to change is the first step. Leaving this new demand and burden when we feel overwhelmed already at the feet of the Master is the next step. Then be ready to participate in a new Grand Adventure, rich with moments and memories.
This mastery of time, of time management and time invested, may take a lifetime like any virtue worth acquiring. As Michelangelo patiently and wisely said, “I am still learning.”
(c) 2015 Katherine A. Carroll, All Rights Reserved
