Living to Support the Matrix’s Core

The chief end of man is to glorify God and love Him forever.

If I have achieved that at the end of my time on earth, no matter what material accomplishments I attained, no matter what professional designations filled the space behind my name, I will have lived with a precision and success seldom attained.
Once we have determined what the end game goal is, we move back into the present moment and use our time and energy to align with the goal we will work steadily toward. I notice that when we are on vacation, we slow down to the point of stillness. We rest, recuperate, refuel and inside of that experience we are seeking to hear God’s direction for our lives. Sometimes there is a sense of restlessness, low grade depression, discomfort, dis-peace that follows us from home. Those are the times that God will speak into with the most clarity if we but “be still and know that I am God”.

Everyone is going to have different pathways, but mine is to achieve this stillness on our times away. The stillness needs to be incorporated daily into my life and it is to a certain extent, but running a large house and working leaves less time for the amount of stillness I achieve here effortlessly. Since such great revelations and guidance comes from the quiet times, the times when my schedule isn’t the main focus, I have determined that my matrix’s core: to glorify God and love Him forever, will best be met by more retreating.

We have established our main residence in the Pacific Northwest as a retreat, naming it Adytum which means “the sanctuary” in Greek. Interestingly, this sanctuary spoken of is not one entered into by doors, like a cathedral. Instead, its “walls” are breached by Spirit alone as we enter into the sacred space of our heart to meditate in secret with God. But even retreats have to be maintained.

Part of the clarity we have received on this time away in Zihuatanejo, Mexico holds the concept that intentionally creating sacred space by buying a villa here or somewhere similar will allow us more time to fulfill the destiny callings we each possess and live with more focus on God. This place that is taking shape in my imagination is of adequate size. Not too small and not too large. It has no need of equipment like dishwashers and vacuums. It is easily maintained with a broom and dustpan, a dish rack and some simple methods. It is shuttered against the heat of the day, and opened at other times to fresh ocean air. We hear the surf and the birds, and have luscious mango, papaya, banana and coconut palms in our yard. We have a few bikes and walk to most places using a small car only occasionally to explore further when we feel so inclined.

Since my most productive ministering to God occur while walking, this dream place to support my Matrix’s core has room to roam in solitude, or along the edges of the surf in walking meditation. Since my most productive writing, feeling channeled by God, occurs in the early morning I structure my days to accommodate hearing from Him and putting fingers to keyboard to record His mind.

In the past I have seen Donn, God and myself in the tidal blending of the infinity symbol, the laying on the side “lazy eight” figure. Now I realize something….that the subordinate ends to the main Matrix’s goals may indeed be intertwined within the core area itself. I am thinking of health. Attaining perfect health largely by two methods: stress reduction and adherence to a Mediterranean diet and lifestyle of moderate walking. The health is fed by the spirit and the spirit is nurtured by excellent health.

In this point of view, having our simple home in Mexico or another locale for a few months of the year when the weather is dark and cold at Adytum is not a decision based on being a “snow bird” as the world would say. First and foremost, it nurtures our core Matrix making ourselves more available to enjoy and love God.

Secondly, if we are seeking to build the structural integrity of our bodily temple to continue to be of service to God for fulfilling our subordinate goals off the main Matrix’s core, then choosing a lifestyle that supports health is essential. So many of my days are spent with a very real sense of “hurry” and the underlying feelings of “overwhelm” and stress that is created. This lifestyle will not nurture my core matrix’s goals. Yes, I can still have communion with God, and I do. I can still have health, and I do. But it is not in the balance I see most beneficial to advancing both my increasing focus on God and increasing the function and structure of my physical body which houses the Temple of God, my interior sanctuary/Adytum.
God has made us aware on this trip that things that look like more acquisition in the world’s eyes can be of an entirely different nature in His perspective. We added more points to be able to use our timeshare more. More time to hear God, to love and glorify Him. More time to nurture our immune systems with additional vitamin D and de-stressing in our daily shore side walks that lead to swimming in the surf; greater health and de-stressing, achieving relaxation and unity with nature and God.
Later perhaps He will show us the place we can enjoy these attributes and use our subordinate talents to love our community, to serve and fulfill the separate destiny callings He has entrusted us both with individually and as a couple. Meantime, we have created by the additional points, more opportunity to have a greater “pie share” going toward meaningful living by committing to more retreats away.
We understand how asset redistribution must support the core Matrix’s goals of glorifying God and loving Him forever. In other words, using a balanced amount of assets for our spiritual development and enrichment versus using those same assets for income production. For us, this will play out in buying a vacation home in a foreign locale instead of turning that property that is fueling this purchase power into an apartment or duplex with all that additional care and attention required.
I see clearly now that every financial decision will most certainly be referenced against the core desire of the Matrix. There would be nothing wrong with increasing rental holdings but for this phase of our asset redistribution, our spiritual needs and our health needs take supremacy. Income will be generated from another segment of asset redistribution.

This way of living naturally promotes essential balance. It feeds the areas of our life that have eternal value, for when we die our assets do not follow. Using our assets to build the areas that do follow our spirit into life in the heavenly realm is the best possible stewardship. Frankly, I have not heard this taught but it may be out there as a teaching. We are taught to invest in widows and orphans in their distress, to give a tithe of ten percent or more. But I don’t recall being taught to structure our assets to support the chief end of man: Glorifying God and loving Him forever. The direction we have received from God on this trip to Mexico has achieved this insight through the faithful instruction of the Holy Spirit into our quiet space we created for His voice to be heard.

One Foot In

Recently I had a dream or a vision of heaven. We, still not living fully in that Realm, didn’t realize that glory covered us like a garment of Light. We walked in our humanity unaccepting of our divine nature being made in the image of God. I caught a glimpse of the shining light of glory that God sees us not only enveloped in, but in fact being made of light itself. We are Light Beings reflecting all the glory of the Godhead. Before I was rudely awoken by His enemy in that state, I glanced further and saw heaven with every blade of grass covered in that same wonderful brilliancy, shining forth and leaping up within it fully aware of their own individual lives of glory.
Last night….pre-dawn… I had another foretaste of life in our true Reality. This time I was clearly inside the City of God. I was engaging with an enormous plant that reminded me of some of the oversized Philodendron I experienced in the rainforest jungles of Belize. This variety was variegated; the lighter parts of the giant leaves were not merely colored lighter but were lit from within and bathed in warm light.
As I have so often done on Earth, suddenly becoming aware of “another” I stopped and spoke to her- she felt female to me. I have always sensed the life force arcing out from the natural world, when I have taken a moment to attune to it. But here in heaven it is effortless. The moment I “saw” deeply into the beauty of this plant, she leapt up rising a bit higher into the fullness of herself and with wide leaves waving like a hundred little hands, she spoke back. The beautiful plant arched and bowed, and took me in with the warmest of welcomes. I have no memory of our interaction verbally. I saw myself in vision engaging with her, reaching into the field of her love she was extending to me and being engulfed in a circle of light with her as we interacted with one another.
I felt such a sense of delight in my spirit that heaven should be just this. Everything in this great Realm that I have seen so far is charged with the most spectacular beauty, vibrant energy and full of inner light. The plants and grass move and have their being within the vast glory of it, as do we. It is not only very lovely, but the vibration of energy contained in and around us is revitalizing to exist in here. There is no lack of energy, no fatigue. It is as it should be; this was the way it was here on earth before the Fall of man.
In my essay called “One” I have already experienced the family community of an orchard I planted, where I was allowed to have my eyes opened, and to feel and see their life-force, entering into the vibratory field they exist in with one another. I was welcomed into their unity and glory that memorable twilight hour, into their very family, by telepathic transmission passed to me by one delicate little plum tree. She was the least of all the great trees in the orchard and had experienced the shame of seeming non productivity, thwarted in her attempts at yielding fruit by a cruel frost that raped her of her efforts year after year. Yet it was she that chose to breach the Deep Silence that most of nature appears to be shrouded in, and “speak”. The experience was so lovely, so touching as I captured instantly her experience and feelings. Afterwards I came inside and wrote it as though it were channeled, the “spell” unbroken for quite some time. She began to teach and show me Reality. These visions expand on her original work. It is true that all of nature conspires together to advance our understanding of Truth; to remind us who we are and what we possess in the larger family of the natural world around us.
There is much we are missing here, much we are not seeing. The Kingdom of God is here now, Jesus said. It is at hand, and it is also within us. That doesn’t mean to say that this Realm will not morph into all its fullness at some later date, but to separate it out now and say that heaven is “there” and we are “here” is nonsense.
As the days on Earth darken in the future with famine and war, we can choose to claim and live within our Reality as children of the Most High God now-today. There is more than many of us know. We need to wake up, have our eyes opened and see things as they really are. We walk in the light of His glory. All of nature lives and moves within this same light.
Nature is beginning to bridge the gap of enmity and learn to live in peace with one another. There has been a plethora of images coming over the internet of polar bears playing with dogs, groups of animals sleeping together that are normally not friendly with one another; images of dogs raising abandoned baby squirrels, of deer playing with rabbits. We cannot fail to see that all of creation is straining for that day when we can enter into our Reality fully. That veil between realities is becoming so thin now that I am “seeing” through more often, and hearing as well. But those visions and experiences hearing the music of heaven are for another day.
Pray for eyes to see and ears to hear. It is a unique time in Earth’s history, a very exciting time of change. Reality is barely able to remain concealed, at least for those of us that already inhabit our dual Reality (Holy Scripture says we are “seated in the heavenlies”) and have asked that “the eyes of our hearts be enlightened”, as Apostle Paul prayed in advance over us to experience.
As I write, a sickle moon passes to the west as the sun will soon begin to rise. I woke well before dawn to write this vision. If you are awake at this hour, go outside and listen. Soon all of nature will wake and the worship will ensue. We think we are advanced and that our development is impressive indeed. But the lowly ones of the world, the plants and the animals among us, are attuned to their Reality and celebrate it in song, in voice, in movement every morning and every evening. They know their Source and delight in it. They are aware where their Life springs from and the glory that they live, move and have their being within. May we be teachable, seeing with the eyes of the heart the Light of Glory that surrounds us all – the natural world included, and sustains us all.

The Vision

The Vision

Sleep was difficult last night. The moon, which had been obscured for weeks behind layers of storm clouds, was finally released. The soft light poured into the room where I slept. We have multitudes of windows here at Adytum that collect all the energy of the cosmic forces- the sun, the moon, the stars…we are right under the Milky Way. We inhabit the heavenlies. We watch plants thrive in this environment. Like plants, so do we thrive. But sometimes all the energy from the cosmos makes sleep a difficult endeavor.
I had a vision just a few hours after midnight. I don’t know if I was sleeping or in a waking state. I saw that those of us who bear the Christ’s name walked in glory. Normally that sentence wouldn’t evoke much but sentiment, however, in this vision as I looked at my arm it shone. “Glory” dripped down off of me onto the surrounding grass, which registered my presence and resulting glory dripping onto it by rising up, covered in light, thriving, reaching higher and every blade shining in extreme beauty and simplicity. I realized that my clothing contained elements of my glory too. I had removed my jacket, and it retained a glow. My consciousness began to explode with Reality; we are children of the Most High God and bear His image. We are covered in the reflected light of His glory. I glanced beyond my immediate surroundings and knew I was allowed a glimpse into heaven, where the same glory was evident in all I saw. Everything was illuminated with this glorious Light and I began to be very excited about entering. I understood instantly the viewpoints of those like Apostle John who had witnessed this Realm of Light also in vision that earth no longer held him in any way. The feeling of excitement grew....
Suddenly, upon this realization, I was terrified to hear a satanic hissing sound. It was loud and I literally jumped from my dream or visioning state. It was over. But the devil himself cannot steal what was entrusted to me. I have seen the reality of those that call themselves by His name and are followers of The Way. As Peter and Paul of old whose handkerchiefs healed without the men being present, we are surrounded in God’s glory – all we touch, pass….
We would do well to operate from Reality, seeing ourselves in our true Light- no pun intended, which is Christ’s own glory. Now. Paul understood about seeing through a veil darkly now, then face to face. We are given small glimpses of this glory witnessing the light of the Lord shining from the eyes of a believer. I have seen this in some elderly who seem to be transitioning into pure spirit living in an aura of radiance while their body fades- their light is predominant.
One day, our eyes will be opened and we will understand our Reality as children of the King, made in His image, representatives of Him in all His glory- not any of our own. His. Paul said very eloquently in his letter to the Ephesians, “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.”
Revelation 21 is our Reality as we ARE the Holy City prepared as a bride “adorned for her husband”. Many on earth today are looking at literal Jerusalem, but we understand that Revelation is figurative in its approach. Our reality is found in verse 11, “having the glory of God: and her light was like a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal…”
We walk in the Light of His reflected glory as His Holy City, the Bride of Christ. This is what was shown to me in vision. Now is the time to remember who we are.
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Matthew 13:43
Then shall the righteous shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
Daniel 12:3
And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.

Matthew 17:2

Numbers 6:25
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:

Revelation 21:23
And the city had no need of the sun, neither of the moon, to shine in it: for the glory of God did lighten it, and the Lamb is the light thereof.

"Those that dwell in paradise, they shine like the shining of the firmament, like the sun, like the moon, like the firmament, like the stars, like lightning, like the lilies, like burning lamps." (Midras Tillian, fol. 11. 3.)

High Country Inspiration

We're drinking in the dying passion of late summer before succumbing to the cold of winter. There is much creative inspiration to be found in the high country of Washington State. We've logged many miles on narrow switchbacks to find the pictures that will live in our memory into the chill nights ahead.

As we struggle to fill the multiple landscapes that make up Adytum with beauty and order, we're amazed at the natural, easy, accomplished landscaping of the Creator here at altitude. All we need for instruction and ideas on our fifteen acres, we find at Mt. Rainier and Sunrise Peak these last weeks of summer.

To be in forests of Alpine Fir with carpets of succulent strawberries on the forest floor, and abundant sweet huckleberries running up the hillsides their foliage ablaze in Autumn hues lays the template we will seek to reproduce on our own land. To witness the long stemmed sensuous dance of wildflowers in the crisp breeze- Indian paintbrush, purple lupine, bear grass, soft blue flax....well, it's all the direction and inspiration we need to return to Adytum and begin recreating it all.

It’s the Content, Not the Package…

Whenever I travel, I am always watching to see what I learn from it, how it will change/expand me. The Western Caribbean cruise with my daughter, a new RN- thus the celebration, comes on the heels of turning 48 this month. I’ve never been separated from my husband so long, never taken a trip with this daughter alone…so a few previously unknown variables.

One thing that began to assert itself early on was the comments from men and women alike. It has taken me by surprise. Most people have thought Alyssa and I are friends, sisters…With Alyssa at 22 and irresistibly beautiful, I am obviously overwhelmed that anyone would say we were sisters. So at first, I wrote it off as polite flattery. As the trip wore on, I came to realize that is their perception as it kept repeating with different people. What I thought was a joke early on has now morphed into a new reality for me. All that nutritional work with an anti-aging emphasis must be paying off…Alyssa summed it up this morning when she said, “Well mom, one thing’s for sure. If Donn died, you wouldn’t have any trouble getting a 19 year old…” Like I would want one…

She said this because yesterday was spent in the company of a family from New Jersey and two sons, age 19 and 20. The 20 year old wouldn’t leave Alyssa alone, and kept engaging, so finally she relented and enjoyed her time playing in the ocean on trampolines and rock climber’s “ice burgs” with him. He was nice. His brother, Dale- the 19 year old, seemed to be ever present over me…hovering….and so the day ended without ever have been able to really escape his persistent attentions to every perceived need I might have had. Towels handed to me, drink refilled, the hand for the stair step extended, conversation even though I didn’t wish to talk…He even became protective when a friend casually put their arm around my shoulders…doesn’t he have anything better to do? Where are the girls his age, I was thinking…He was one of three on this trip that seemed to think being 48, a mother, a wife was just more challenging if they made the conquest.

What I learned is twofold. First, that age is a perception, an acceptance of a timeline. In my experience I never accepted or “bought into” that timeline, thus I am timeless. Accepting that creates a physical change, not just mental or emotional. The aging process doesn’t seem to “latch on” if it isn’t really accepted or believed in… I have consciously made the decision to begin my eternity now, living outside time and space in a secret Kingdom- a parallel universe to ours where anything is possible and growth is relentlessly stimulating. That leads to the second thing I learned. It’s the content, not the package that is important and has the ability to sustain a friendship or a partnership. Of course, I already knew that but being confronted with so much youth, beauty, muscle and yet- shallowness within, it bears stating.

Yet I am realizing in a greater way that the experience of having been on this earth longer and mining the depths of our hearts is more appealing to me in others than youth or beauty – In both men and women. I often wonder how single men find wives. It’s even hard for me as a woman to find “a good woman…” someone who I can talk with, someone who can teach me something I don’t know, someone who sees deeper than the surface, someone who is on a trajectory of growth and expansion…it isn’t even about education at this point, because one of young men, a 34 year old lawyer, had more than myself- book learning anyway…. This ship is full of youth, beauty … but the horizon is so easily found in most people. Within an hour, I know the end of them. I need a boundless shore in those that are in my experience taking up my precious time, apart from my children who hopefully will develop their boundlessness.

I prefer a renaissance man/woman, the spiritually deep, and a philosopher, a scholar, brilliant and multifaceted…all simultaneously evident. Great sculpted bodies glorying in their unlined youth and attractiveness have no power to compete in the hard won arena of a fascinating, well rounded mind and depth of spirit. A face unlined has no power to move me as does the face and physique that reflects a well planned journey; eyes that reveal an endless universe of eternity and the light of the Cosmos, the God of all Creation evident and beaming strongly out from their depths. The youthful in years- most at least- haven’t either discovered or earned this by hard pursuit yet. While it’s been flattering to attract this age group, it has only served to confirm the success of my timelessness, my anti-aging protocols and my preference for more in life.

Our society is so deluded to think that youth is desirable. Working hard to stay young WHILE mining our depths is desired above all. The young in years would be wise to care for the surface and diligently work to find their depths, feed them, expand them. I need more out of this life than most people even are aware exists to be had….

THE FLAG OF THE UNIVERSE

My intention was to bike ten miles so I can look “bikini ready” when we leave for the coast of California next week. God’s intention was different.

I cheated, and drove the bike in the pickup to the bottom of our hill which is just too much to face after a fast, hard ride. Once my feet hit the pedals, I entered the essence of spring time. Cruising past fat robins flying low over green pastures, I saw a deer emerge at the edge of the woods, a cherry tree in full bloom over her sweet head.

Then the tulip fields came into view. We see these great blocks of color from a few rooms in our house. What a joy! Suddenly they struck me as a flag – blocks of fuscia, red, white, purple, orange- and the green stems where harvest had begun. Row upon row of outrageous, spectacular color…

The Flag of the Universe, I thought! Nations have flags…this is God’s version. Full blown, living color. I had hardly completed that thought when I heard the still, small Voice speak: You are like that to me. Each of you who bears My Name in their hearts is pure beauty, vibrant color and sweetly fragrant. I rejoice over you, over each of you. You all- individually and collectively – delight My heart. You are My flag of the Universe, a standard of beauty and love for all the worlds, for Angels, and for Me to behold.

A song rose up in my spirit as I biked past the swaths of bold color against the rich Cinnabar Loam in the bulb fields. “He reigns throughout the Universe. His glory covers all the earth….” I was meditating not on the fat burn and lean muscles I was seeking to create, but on the Creator that made such beauty in nature and in us. What a mind! Could I, given the chance to create the worlds as we know them, make such magnificence as a flower, as a person? What a Mind….

Later, on the way home, I drove through a shower of cherry blossoms. They washed over my face and rained down on me in a gentle, warm breeze. Life is rich. Life is good. Yes, there is war, devastation from hurricanes and floods. Yes winter was hard this year. But everything rights itself in the rich seduction of a warm spring morning.

I set out to work on my body but God worked worship into me and the song persisted throughout my ride back to the truck waiting at the bottom of the hill. Yes, He surely reigns throughout the Universe. And in me. In us, His flag of the Universe…